I have come across many books, articles, and videos that claim to have a certain number of rules for success. These rules often have a catchy number, such as the top 10 rules for a successful life, a healthy life, or personal finance. But none of them have made a lasting impression on me. If you google the top 10 rules on any topic, from finance and health to success and relationships, you will find countless best-selling books and even celebrities endorsing such ideas. Here is an example of what Google search shows for the top 10 rules of success:
Similarly, here is what Google search displays for the top 10 rules on personal finance:
These are all valuable tips, but they don’t match what I experience every day. On the other hand, one phrase that my father, a person who never had a chance to attend school even for a day, taught me has stayed with me like a golden rule. Whatever I do, the outcomes only confirm this golden rule. Let me give you some examples:
When I cook, adding too much of any ingredient spoils the dish. Too much salt makes it salty, too much water makes it soggy, too much oil makes it greasy, and too much sugar makes it sweet… When I garden, overwatering kills the plants, as does too much sun, shade, pruning, or fertilizer… Anything in excess harms the plant. Exercise is good but overdoing it tires you out and makes you quit after a while. Walking is good for you but walking too much leaves you sore and stiff the next day. I don’t want to bore you with my trivial examples. But if you look around and pay attention to what people say or write, you will find countless examples of how too much of anything ruins life, nature, society, health… and even a meal.
For example, consider a best-selling book on Amazon that offers financial advice: “The 10X Rule: The Only Difference Between Success and Failure” [1] by Grant Cardone. The author advises readers to write down their goals and dreams in specific and measurable terms (for example, you want to earn enough in the next 5 years to have 1 million dollars in cash, a common wish for many people and also the first challenging step towards financial freedom), and then multiply them by 10X. If you plan to make 10 sales calls today, multiply that by 10X, and so on. This book has about 11000 ratings on Amazon. The idea sounds appealing but is it realistic and sustainable? Can you imagine the impact of such a drastic push on your health, relationships, and even your own dream? Suppose you want to lose 10 pounds in a month (which I have seen people do, a reasonable goal). If you apply the 10X rule and try to lose 100 pounds in a month, you will surely fail and exhaust yourself, which will destroy your motivation to pursue your dream. Most of what we do requires long-term effort, whether it is health, financial freedom, education or career goals, learning a skill, or building something… all require long-term effort. A short-term burst is achievable but if we can’t maintain it, it will fade away, along with the dream it was meant to fulfill.
If you look around, you will see that we are applying the 10X rule in every aspect of modern society, from education to social activism and justice to finance and health… just to name a few. And then you might wonder why society is falling apart. Why is there so much mistrust, division, and hatred? The 10X mentality is the main culprit. The Abrahamic religions, which started as a message of human equality, now have some of the most violent, racist, and intolerant followers. Their 10X belief in their values makes them so self-righteous that they see anyone who doesn’t fit their standards as deserving of punishment.
So, what was my father's golden rule (Following in Hazaragi):
کار کو بہ اندازہ کی از دیست و پائے نہ اندازہ
Translation: Work hard but within your limits so that you can keep it up for a long time (or work hard but not beyond your physical capacity so that you can endure it for a long time).
External Links:
[1] Book: The 10X rule: The difference by success and failure; https://tinyurl.com/yckv2a8u
[2] Author Grant Cardone; https://grantcardone.com/
