One's personality is both a composition and reflection, but if I have to choose one of them, I will choose reflection as the "self" is more important to me than "me". One's composition may change, walking across the cultural landscapes and climbing the social ladder but one's self is tied to one's reflections. The fun part is that reflections are not bound to "Time-Space" barriers ( it is not time-space) and respective mental constructs, which have grown so thick over ages, that they had reduced the image of humans to Sisyphus, rolling different sizes of boulders on hills of different heights.… As the name of this Blog indicates, knols are my perspectives on topics of interests, sweet/bitter experiences or just doodling :)

Sunday, June 4, 2017

May I borrow your eyes, Please!

Ustad said, "All people are beautiful. You need to train your eyes to see them. A stylist is trained to see the beautiful features of each customer and make those features prominent enough that they become visible to other people...." 

I guessed he noticed my puzzlement and asked, "I bet you think the analogy of a writer with a stylist is very odd. right?" 

" I thought, the job of a writer is to write honestly whatever he observes and what he observes might be very ugly...??" I replied.

"That's right!" he smiled. "You have to write honestly but failing to report the beauties because the ugliness you have observed has overtaken your imagination is dishonesty..." 

I'm not in the mood to write the rest of the conversation. I remembered this chunk of the conversation as I kept staring at the following picture idly for more than half an hour and wasn't able to express my feelings. 




I need help here. Someone with better eyes, please tell me, where is beauty in this picture that I can't see. The sister and brother who were on their way towards Mariabad were gunned down by the "unknown terrorists just meters away from police check-post. Their corpses were dragged out the middle of the road and left in the dirt 😢

For last 17 years, (yes, you heard it right, seventeen years), the Hazara community of Quetta have been bombed and killed after identification in thousands by "unknown terrorists", who later called newspapers and claimed responsibility (after each incident) and vowed to kill more and yet not a single (that's right, not a single murderer has been brought to books). Once even, the terrorists held an award ceremony in the stadium close to chief minister's secretariat where they celebrated scoring centuries in the killings of the Hazara community (Yes, killing people randomly is a game to them.) 

Ustad said, "All people are beautiful."

I am sure, all people are beautiful. But currently, I am struggling to see those beauties. I have failed to train my eyes to see the beauties. I need help to see the beauties as I can't. 😞

Tuesday, August 30, 2016

دیسی ڈونلڈ ٹرمپ

ٹی وی، میگزینوں، اخباروں، روزمرہ نشست و برخاستوں اور سوشل نیٹ ورکز پر روز ڈونلڈ ٹرمپ پرپریشان کن تبصروں اور تجزیوں کے باوجود، آپ نے مجھے ٹرمپ پر کبھی تبصرہ کرتے نہیں دیکھے ھونگے. اسکی وجہ میرا "دیسی لبرلزم" یا "پردیسی مصلحت پسندی" نہیں، بلکہ اسکی وجہ وہ ھزاروں "دیسی ٹرمپ" ھیں جسے ميں بچپن سے، ھر روز سنتا، دیکھتا چلا آرھا ھوں. آج، ایسا ھی ایک بظاھر پڑھے لکھے اور بظاھر لبرل "دیسی ٹرمپ" کو میں نے اس لیے "ان فرینڈ" کیا، کیونکہ موصوف فرما رھے تھے کہ بلوچستان کی پسماندگی کی وجہ ھزارہ کمیونٹی ھے اور جب تک اس کمیونٹی کو مٹائینگے نہیں، اس وقت تک بلوچستان ترقی نہیں کرسکتا ("ان فرینڈ" کرنے کا مقصد، نفرت کو ریڈ کارڈ کرنا ھے ).  حقیقت یہ ھے کہ چند گلیوں پر مشتمل ھزارہ آبادی والے مری آباد اور ھزارہ ٹاون میں، اگر کچھ پکے مکانات بنے ھیں وہ صوبائی يا مرکزی حکومتوں کے فنڈز سے نہیں بنے ھیں، بلکہ ان ھزاروں جوانوں کے پسینے کے کمائی سے بنے ھیں جو اپنے پیاروں سے دور، پردیسی ملکوں میں مزدوری کرنے پر مجبور ھیں.  

شاید کچھ دوست یہ سوچھے کہ میں ری ایکشن دکھا کر، نہ چاھتے ھوئے، انٹرنیٹ پر نفرت پھیلانے والوں کے لیے لاوڈ سپیکر کا کام کررھا ھوں. ان دوستوں کے خدمت میں پیشگی عرض ھے کہ یہ نفرت بہت پرانی اور گہری ھے. ان نفرتوں سے چشم پوشی کے وجہ سے یہ ایک ناسور کا شکل اختیار کر چکا ہے. مثالیں دینے کےلیے، میرے پاس ایسے سینکڑوں واقعات ھیں،  جن کا میں چشم دید گواہ ھوں. ان میں سے ایک واقعہ پیش خدمت ھے؛

1998 کے گرمیوں کی بات ھے. اسوقت کوئٹہ امن کے نخلستان تھے. لوگ اپنے اپنے چھوٹے بڑے دنیاوں میں گم تھے. والدہ صاحبہ کے طبیعت ناساز تھے اور میرے چھوٹے دنیا کے سب سے بڑی خواب یہ تھی کہ میں کسی دن اس قابل بنوں کہ والدہ صاحبہ کی بہترین علاج کرسکوں. بہر حال، جتنے ھمارے وسائل اجازت دیتے، کبھی والد صاحب اور کبھی میں ڈاکٹروں اور ھسپتالوں کے چکر کاٹتے رھتے. ایک ایسی ھی چکر میں، میں والدہ صاحبہ کو ایک سرکاری ھسپتال لے گیا. حسب معمول،  ڈاکٹر کے کمرے کے باھر مریضوں کے ایک لمبی قطار لگی ھوئی تھی. ھم بھی، ھسپتال کی پرچی اور والدہ کی لیبارٹری ٹیسٹوں اور ڈاکٹروں کے نسخوں کے پلندے ھاتھ میں لیے، قطار میں کھڑے ھوگئے. گئی گھنٹے، کھڑے کھڑے انتظار کے بعد آخر ھمارے باری آئے. ڈاکٹر صاحب اپنے چند مہمانوں کے ساتھ خوش گپیوں میں مصروف تھے. میں نے سلام کیا. ڈاکٹر نے ھمارے طرف دیکھے اور کچھ کہے بغیر پھر بھنڈار میں مصروف ھوگئے. دروازہ کے قریب ایک بوڑھا ھزارہ کھڑا تھا. میں نے ان سے خیریت دریافت کی تو بوڑھا شخص کپکپاتی آواز میں کہا کہ  اسکے نمبر بہت پہلے آیا تھا، لیکن ڈاکٹر نے یہ کہتے ھوئے اسے معائنہ کرنے سے انکار کیا کہ، "جاو، افغانستان میں اپناعلاج کرو. یہ ھسپتال بلوچستان کے ملکیت ھے." اس بوڑھے شخص نے یہ بھی بتایا کہ میں نے جب ڈاکٹر کو اپنا شناختی کارڈ دکھایا تو ڈاکٹر غصہ میں  کہا کہ میں تو اس کاغذ کے ٹکڑے کو مانتا ھی نہیں. جب میں نے ڈاکٹر سے درخواست کی کہ وہ اپنے پیشہ کا احترام کرے تو ڈاکٹر صاحب، سیاسی نعرہ بازی پر اتر آئے.

لوگ صرف مولویوں کو نفرت کے پرچارک کے طور پر دیکھتے ھیں. کاش صرف مولوی "کنوینیئس کے مسلمان" ھوتے تو ھمارے غم آدھے ھوتے۔ بدقسمتی سے ، ھمارے ھاں  "دیسی ٹرمپ" کی کوئی کمی نہیں، جو بسا اوقات اپنے " کنوینیئس کے لبرلزم" کے احسانات بھی جتاتے رھتے ھیں.


نفرتیں اتنے عادی ھوگئے ھیں کہ لوگ یہ سمجھ بیٹھے ھیں کہ اپنے قوم سے، دین سے، اور نظریات سے محبت کے اظہار کا صرف ایک ھی طریقہ ھے، اور وہ ھے دوسروں سے نفرت. حالانکہ حقیقت یہ ھے کہ اپنے لوگوں کے لیے دشمن کمانے والے، اپنے لوگوں کا خیر خواہ نہیں ھوسکتے.   

Wednesday, July 20, 2016

The Fattening Of A Mind

When I was at high school, my obsession with learning went too far to an extent that I got almost disconnected with most of my friends and their world of interests. It peaked when I started working at a woodwork factory after the school hours. At the factory, I mostly varnished the chairs and sofa sets. My work clothes and shoes had turned into armored shields by multiple layers of varnish coatings and I felt like an arthropod inside the clothes. In short, I went through a daily metamorphosis, beginning in the morning when I dressed into the dark-sky-blue school uniform (which turned into light-sky-blue after weekly washes by the end of the school year) to the afternoon, when I wore varnished-work-clothes and to the night, when I became myself in the casual dress. While the life appeared to be the repetition of the same acts weeks after weeks with no end at the sight, I felt like to be in the Alice’s wonderland. And that wonderland was the world of the words;

Early afternoons, when I went to work, the other workers had already left for the afternoon siesta. Occasionally, the factory owner’s youngest brother visited the factory to supervise our work. Once we went to the same school and were in different grades. He was couple of years younger than me but at the factory, I went to work and he was the boss. While, I varnished the chairs, he held a fat Oxford dictionary and walked back and forth of the hall to memorize the dictionary. I wanted to learn the language too but I had neither the time, nor money for the dictionary. So, I sorted out the used English newspapers from Russian newspapers that we used for packaging (also laid on the floor while varnishing) and hid them. I put a paper on the floor while working and looked for the words that either I could easily memorize or looked interesting to me and asked the meanings from the young boss. He liked the practice and often shared the vocabularies, he thought were interesting. My vocabulary was growing fast and parts of the English papers started making sense to me (Those were my greatest joys). I knew that kind of encyclopedic and chance-based learning equipped me with a kind of worldview, full of holes that enabled me only to have patchy views of the worlds that fell outside of my town. Still, each new word, each new piece of information, each new concept made me feel that I was growing up in those still days and nights. I believed that if I had plenty of time and a dictionary, I could have attained nirvana. 

I had a year of gap after finishing high school and that was a heavenly gift to me. I had plenty of time (I worked till noon and afternoons, I went for a mechanic course, which was for three hours and as I had no homework, so I could afford to spend time reading whatever, I could get my hands on) and well for the first time an English to Urdu dictionary (and that was the first non-textbook that I bought for fifty rupees). I went crazy with translating entire pages of newspapers (well, not the way interpreters translate but by writing Urdu meanings under each English word). I didn’t attain nirvana but it had greatly boosted my confidence level. 

When colleges’ admission opened, I and my youngest maternal-uncle went to the college for admission. The students wings of the political parties had set up reception desks to guide (attract students) and help students in their college admissions. Holding the admission forms, we went to the desk of Hazara Students Federation. Three senior students of the college represented the party. 

“What do you want to study?” A young man who had thick curly hairs and square face asked.

“Science.” I replied.

“Pre-medical or pre-engineering?”

“Pre-medical (which meant biology instead of mathematics)”.

“Could you guys afford coaching classes?”

“No.”

“Then, I strongly recommend that you take arts subjects, instead. Without coaching classes, you won’t be able to pass the exams.”

We thanked them and left. We knew, they were right but we were determined and took admission in pre-medical. College textbooks were in English but I had dictionary and time, so I translated my Biology, Chemistry and partially physics textbooks….

So, why did I feel to the need to tell this story?

Recently, I heard two complains about myself (from friends and relatives), first, that I am living in Jungle (small town) and second that I rarely communicate. Well, if they knew a little about my past, they could understand that my mind have grown so obese that it barely wonders about large cities or becoming more social. Imagine that a boy who once believed that he could attain nirvana, if he had plenty of time and a dictionary gets the chance to order five books at 2 a.m. in the morning (and they only cost him two hours of his work) or he could stop at a thrift shop after work and buy five book just with an hour of his work, what would you expect him spending most of his time? He would literally bury himself in the books, right? He knows very well that, it is not a systematic way of gaining knowledge (or it is unhealthy on the long run but he never been able to live a healthy lifestyle) and he can’t help himself. If you are impoverished for years, your health is the first victim, when you have plenty. You can’t resist the urge of over-consumption, despite knowing the dangers. The access to fast internet and books has fattened my mind.

Saturday, April 30, 2016

Conversations With An Afghan Teacher: Part 14

I liked this interpretation of the history” I said.
“See once, Romans conquered all the olive producing Mediterranean basin and the wheat producing Egypt, the olive trade declined and so the philosophy and democracy with the trade….”


A tractor trolley loaded with foundation-stones roared, as it passed us. It was playing “adda-kona songs” (old bus station; there were music stores that sold audio-cassettes and played loud songs in the noisy traffic) to the loudest, as if the tractor's engine and its speakers were competing for the loudness. In the contest of the noises, I couldn’t hear what the teacher was saying. I kept nodding and smiling, pretending that I am hearing him well. He paused.


“Have you heard of the Darwin finches?” I asked the teacher, once the tractor’s noises faded in the distance.
“I know a bit about them.”
“Don’t you think the diversification, and co-variations of the economic systems and socio-political systems have very much in common to the developments of beak polymorphism in the Darwin finches?”


The teacher didn’t reply. He fixed his glasses and stared down the valley.


“As you know, thirteen (fifteen) finch species were recorded on Galapagos islands…”
“Balay”
“...And they are the well studied. Grants1 studied them for thirty years. They could observe and record the changes in finches as drought changed their food supplies…” I clarified further my question.


“Hmm” was all the teacher said.


I took that response as a sign of silent disagreement.


“Food supply played a key role in human evolution from other apes. One hypothesis is that ancestors of humans started using their hands for collecting food instead of walking like other apes. The freeing of hands made it possible to make tools and increasingly greater supply of food and also migrations to new lands…”
“Balay”


Apparently, my arguments weren’t convincing enough, as they failed to catch the interest the teacher. I felt that down in the valley, there was something more interesting than my arguments. I looked down to find out, what he stared at. Few lights were turned on. I expected the maghrib adhan very soon.


“The seven wonders of the ancient world were either the kings’ burial sites, castles and places of worship. Public buildings such as parliament, churches, mosques and temples were the most prominent buildings till very recent time. But we are witnessing that towers and skyscrapers, with their futuristic designs are becoming more prominent. These towers are the centers of financial activities and is not limited to particular region but are global phenomenon. Food collection and production shaped the ancient humans societies and economies are shaping our world…”


I paused to see, if the teacher had some comments. He was still staring down the valley.


“Are you thinking about something?” I asked.
“Yes.” the teacher replied. “As you mentioned the finches, I remembered an old question that I am still struggling with…”
“What’s the question?” I asked hurriedly.
“Have you heard about the brain’s reward systems?”
“Sort of.”
“Do you still remember our first conversation that I asked you, whether Eids and Wedding celebrations and likes make you happy or not?”
“Balay Ustad!”
“I have long struggled with this questions about behaviors that we enjoy and indulge ourselves into, often obsessively. Take the examples of the craze in football (soccer), cricket, boxing, wrestling, action, thrill and love-story movies, animal racing and fighting, gambling, politics and show-offs just to name few…”
“Balay Ustad.”
“Each of those obsessions have something to do with brain’s reward system…”
“Could have!”
“No, I mean it!
“Balay!”
“Our brain have connected pathways of neurotransmitters that reward us in the form of feeling good for behaviors that increase our survival and reproduction. But Humans have also learned to trick the brain in producing the pleasure chemicals….”
“I am not surprised!” I laughed.
“My point is, since cultures vary in their appreciations for different behaviors, and these variations existed for over hundreds and sometimes thousands of years, they have caused variations in the brain’s reward system. To make things simple, organisms exposed in different settings for long period of times evolve variations, like the evolution of the beak varieties in the Darwin’s finches …..”

Continued….

------------------------------------------------------------


Although, I was introduced to the theory of evolution in 1995-96 through biology class,  but I learnt about Grants’ works (who spent six months of each year on the hot and waterless island of Daphne Major for thirty (more than forty years) consecutive years to study finches) around the year 2000, in the third year of the college.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mcM23M-CCog

Wednesday, April 6, 2016

Conversations With Afghan Teacher; Part 13

“.... You may have heard that most of the earliest human civilizations developed on the fertile soils around the rivers in warm climates where growing crops were easier?...”
“A rudimentary information about the earliest river-civilizations like those of Indus, Euphrates, Nile, and Huang-He  are part of “GENERAL KNOWLEDGE” (As per tradition, serious students read the general knowledge books that were available in the bookstores, and also consumed newspapers regularly in order to be able to compete in the civil-services-examinations, and “general knowledge” was a mandatory part of the examinations.)” I stressed on the word general knowledge to show that I wasn’t that ignorant. “And I also know that rice cultivating civilizations had denser populations than civilizations thrived on wheat and corn 1.” I boastingly added.
“I’m not testing your knowledge.” He smiled. “I just wanted to make sure that you are included in the conversation, so you don’t get bored…”
“No, no…. I’m enjoying the conversation… please carry on...” I was embarrassed. “Actually, I’m not a good conversationalist.” I tried to hide my embarrassment.
“What was your best conversation that you remember?” Asked the teacher unexpectedly.
“Although, I had enjoyed the knowledgeable conversations, but I had enjoyed more the tales of old men about places that I hadn’t visited or the time that I had spent with my friends conversing hours randomly and talking nonsensically…”
“The knowledgeable conversation is very small part of the conversations that interest men. We are creatures with unbounded imaginations that are at work all the times…”

The teacher paused, and we looked down, at the city. The opposite mountains were half bluish-grey and half yellowish-grey. Despite all of its problems, it was a beautiful valley, particularly during early mornings and evenings. Something that was to be felt than to be described.

“You was talking about the river-civilizations?” I broke the silence.
“Oh, Yes..” he fixed his glasses. “I was saying that Sumer was one of the most innovative earliest river-civilizations. They introduced writing, laws, canal irrigation system, wheel and the famous flood story of Noah also originated there.”
“Balay Ustad.”
“The intensive use of land soured the soil and resultantly, the crop production decreased drastically. Despite all those innovations, the Sumerian civilization couldn’t survive the decrease in the crop productions….”
“That makes sense.” I interjected. “We witnessed the collapse of Soviet Union as a result of poor economy, despite being one of the world leaders in the technological advances.”
“While that’s right but it isn’t a one way road. I will come to that as well. Right now, let’s talk about how means of production and control of the production system shape social structures to a large extent.”
“Balay Ustad.”
“You can see there are more orchards than crop fields in this valley and we both know the reasons. Orchards require less water and labor to maintain, and  can grow on poor soils in comparisons to the crops…”
“Balay Ustad.”
“In comparison, to river-civilizations that were based on irrigation and good soils, there were orchard-civilizations in places that faced water shortage and poor soil conditions like those of Mediterranean basin. Olive was the chief of fruit of those orchards. Olives were fine with poor soils, less water and required less labor to maintain and yet it provided a fruit that didn’t spoil till a year, provided oil that had many uses from cooking to lighting. And more important was the fact that once an olive orchard was established, it lived for almost a millennium producing fruits each year…”
“Very impressive.”
“On downside, although olive trees are evergreen and regenerate upon damages, it takes from five to twelve years and some even twenty years to produce olives. So, a damage to an olive orchard required about a decade to produce olives again…”
“That’s very long time..”
“As olive growing civilizations didn’t have crops to maintain their populations, they traded their olives with those of the crop producing civilizations. You may have heard the story of Prophet Joseph and his brothers?...”
“Right, right.” I replied. “Joseph was from Canaan that became a minister in the Pharaoh's’ court. And the Canaanites depended on imported wheat from Egypt..”
“Right. As olive producing civilizations had plenty of free times and needed peace for their trade and olive orchards, they introduced in depth concepts of ethics, justice and brotherhood through democratic institutions and Philosophical schools in the Greek islands, and Abrahamic institutions and schools in the Mediterranean basin. What we know of today's world are mostly based on ideas borrowed from those orchard institutions…

Continued…

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Footnote:

  1. (Although rice has lower calories *130 to 216 per 100 grams depending on rice type* than wheat *339 calories per 100 grams*, but rice had greater yield than wheat per hectare * for instance before 1960, a hectare of rice could sustain 5.63 people and a hectare of wheat could sustain 3.67 people*. Rice producing regions like, South Asia and most of East Asian countries had dense populations and are still the most dense population centers. In comparison to the rice and wheat, corn has 86 calories per 100 grams and till around 1930 had similar yield per hectare as that of rice, however, since then, the corn yields have surpassed that of rice. Despite high yields, proto-civilization based on corn production like those of Mississipi river remained very small and short lived compared to other river-civilizations. Time and isolation *other river civilizations benefited from trades, sharing of ideas and technologies from each others* are few explanations offered.